Thursday, February 17, 2011

camera jam, creative jam

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Today I am happy with my outfit for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I knew I was going to wear this when I woke up in the morning (somehow this was inspired by Clare's outfit yesterday), which meant I got to sleep a few extra minutes (or twenty) because I didn't have to worry about picking anything out. Secondly, I slept with my semi-damp hair in braids last night and my hair was nice and wavy in the morning (I've always wanted curly hair and this is as close as I can get to faking it). Thirdly, my camera came back to life after a tragic wind-meets-tripod lens jam that I thought would basically ruin my blogging career. I didn't even get a single shot of my outfit before my camera hit the ground, lens first, and all I got was a screen of death that read "lens error." After attempting to resuscitate it for a few minutes I admitted defeat and drove away, but in a last-ditch effort a few miles down the road I tried to turn it on again and (with much grinding) it worked!! It was nothing short of miraculous :)

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(dress: filene's basement; cardigan: old navy; scarf/belt: bargain boutique; tights: hue; shoes: seychelles; earrings: gift [f21])

I am beyond lucky. And it's Thursday. So that's awesome. I was mostly upset about my camera crunch because I really, really like this outfit!
Last night (after the gym--go me!) I watched Breaking Upwards and The Exploding Girl, both very indie, meditative films that renewed my interest in simple filmmaking (I recommend both). The trouble I'm having now is that I've kind of hit a wall with my pilot project (this always happens, and I can't determine if it's because I legitimately lose interest or I just don't have the skills necessary to carry it out) and I'm back to absorb mode. There is a reason why I was a film major (I love movies) and a reason why I want to be a writer (I love novels), and I sort of ebb and flow through periods where I want to write and write and write and be creative and make things happen and periods where I just want to sit back and let other people's creative energy wash over me. For a couple of weeks I was taking notes and gathering information and plotting out a storyline and developing characters and I felt totally inspired, and now I just want to watch movies back to back and read book after book without pausing for breath. I don't quite know how to walk the line between the two. I've always tried to give myself what I need out of every moment in my life, and if I don't feel inspired to write I believe I shouldn't try to force it. I honestly don't think this is a cop-out. It's sort of like eating chocolate if you really crave it because you want your body to be happy as well as healthy. If I want to watch little indie movies on my computer screen instead of drafting the , there is probably a reason I am drawn to that experience at that particular time--I ultimately believe that giving in to these impulses will make me generally happier and more fulfilled, which will (hopefully) lead to inspiration and creativity.

We'll see, though :) What do you guys do when you're "not feeling it?" Do you force the flow, or do you allow yourself the freedom to stray?

4 comments:

  1. Great news about the lucky lens error :) Nothing gets adrenaline pumping like a near miss, especially with a gorgeous outfit like this waiting to be snapped! :)

    I think I do a little bit of both. During winter I generally have little energy but I've found that pushing myself eventhough I feel uninspired really helps in winter. But other times I just go with the flow. If I am not busy sinking into some deeeep depression but simply need a change of pace I just go with it :) Sometimes it feels like I get nothing done that way but looking back it all works out in the long run. I switch focus but eventually I return and pick up where I left off. I think that 's creativity for you - you never know where it'll take you and when to expect absorb mode vs create mode.

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  2. If I'm not "feeling it" I take a step back and then just disconnect for at least an evening. I'll do something completely different to reset my brain and my attitude. If that doesn't do the trick, then I also look for inspiration via blogs, movies, journal articles, etc. Sometimes my reset button takes longer than usual, and I just recognize I need a break. Normally, if it's Day Job related motivation, the pressure will get to me after a day or so ;)

    Also, really loving this outfit and your red legs! Super cute :)

    ~Nicole
    http://employedpanache.blogspot.com

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  3. Great look! I love the blue and red together, that scarf is really wicked.
    I usually let myself stray, within limits. Like if I'm studying and just can't study another moment I will let myself just chill and go blank. It's a very delicate balance though, because sometimes we don't want to do the things we need to do though!!
    xJennaD

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  4. Hurray for the rescued camera! And the outfit!

    Like Stef, I do a bit of both. Sometimes you've got to drift, but other times it's really better to force yourself to continue. I think generally we know, somewhere, if we're just procrastinating, but I agree that sometimes a person's got to take inspiration in order to create. If you're drifting because your slipping into thoughts like "my screenplay is awful" however, I'd say it's best to just push on. I think every writer thinks every work is awful at some point, but inspiration strikes again if you force yourself through the bad bits.

    Anyway, I know this is all a bit late, but I've been out of blog circulation all week!

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