Tuesday, July 19, 2011

in which i expound on uniqueness

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Elizabeth of Delightfully Tacky posted about uniqueness on her blog today, and it got me thinking. In recent months/years, I have become increasingly aware of the incredible uniqueness of individuals and the amazing potential for personal growth that comes from interacting with and inspiring each other in a meaningful way. I'm not talking about fashion. I'm not talking about following trends. I'm not talking about being inspired to bake macarons becuase that's what people are doing these days. I'm also not discarding any of those things, because I do draw inspiration from trends in the blogosphere and I do believe that my life is enriched by them (if I didn't believe that, I wouldn't be here). That said, fashion is still a superficial manifestation of selfhood--for the most part, it doesn't say much of anything about who we are (except maybe that we care about how we present ourselves to the world, which isn't a bad thing).
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(shorts/shirt/hat: thrifted; shoes: kohl's; scarf: forever 21)

I've been lucky, in my life, to have extraordinarily meaningful relationships--with friends, family, and even with strangers. I enjoy conversations that jump right to the marrow of the matter and burrow deeper and deeper until they hit giddy, hysterical laughter, free-flowing tears, or finally level out like a long, satisfying sigh of contentment. A few days ago, Elizabeth also mentioned the "growth zone," where we push ourselves beyond our usual level of comfort, and eventually expand our comfort zone. I'm not a religious person by any means, but I do have a spiritual side (as evidenced here), and I definitely believe that while we're here on earth we should try to see and experience as much as possible, always pushing ourselves to the absolute limit. While traveling to the ends of the earth is a big part of that for me, connecting with interesting people and having enlightening conversations is the other part. When we are true to ourselves and open to each other, we can really expand our experiences. I think our generation has a tendency to judge each other rather harshly (we compare ourselves to others and react offensively to counteract our own creeping self-doubt), but most of those snap judgments are made based on superficial reasons like the way we choose to dress or the music we like to listen to--and we are all so much more than that.

I've come to believe that every single person on this earth has the potential to be endlessly fascinating. Not only are we born completely unique, our experiences in life are so varied and the choices we've made and have yet to make are so infinite, if we commit to knowing ourselves and knowing others truly (madly) and deeply, that is the best way to find happiness and fulfillment in our lifetimes. This does not necessarily mean that I want to be friends with everyone or that everyone will want to be friends with me. We are not all compatible. Some may prefer to float merrily along on the surfaces of things (which I honestly find rather enviable). But if we are open and genuine with each other (and more importantly, with ourselves) we will know a true soul mate when we find one (and I mean that in both the platonic and romantic sense). I may not know what I want to "do" with my life, but I certainly know what I want to "be." And at this point, I think that's far more important.

On a totally unrelated note, last night K and I did this (can you spot the hot air balloon?):

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And then this happened:

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So we did this:

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Went home, had some wine, and watched "Just Go With It," which I actually rather enjoyed. Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston have been impressing me lately (with Grown Ups and The Switch, respectively, and now this). Just because I like to overanalyze everything and swim in the deep sea of humanity doesn't mean that I can't enjoy a nice, light-hearted rom-com once in a while (or... often). I'm not afraid to admit to my guilty pleasures!

If you're feeling forthcoming, I'd love to hear about one of your most formative moments. Let's bust this blogging thing wide open!

11 comments:

  1. I feel a bit overawed by your post, not sure I can come up with anything formative! I did just spend the whole weekend at Latitude festival which was crammed full of immensely inspiring creative people, poets/authors/musicians/actors and many others. While i was watching some of them perform I started to think something similar to what you're saying. That people need to more more honest with each other and communicate in a different way. Also and that a lot of the people I was watching knew this and could express what I was thinking in a way I couldn't - much like you are. On a different note, this outfit is great, love the scarf/hat shorts combo very much.

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  2. I had to take a second and digest this post before I attempted a comment and even with this extra time to sit and revel in your thoughts I am still not sure if my comment will be up to par. I do agree that fashion doesnt truly make you unique but it is a fun way to express yourself and thats what i enjoy the most about it. I tend to be very shy in social situations so communicating can be very difficult for me even though I do have a lot to say. I am envious of people who can verbalize their feelings as well as you are able to do.

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  3. love your outfit :)
    I loved Elizabeth's post too, it's very inspirational. I like your phrase 'superficial manifestation of selfhood'. I think I'd be careful about the superficial part. I think that some people have a distinctive style that they always have had and importantly have not been conscious of but it's super super hard to define it- I know I have always had a certain 'style' ever since I begun dressing myself but I could in no way define it succinctly!

    You said: "I may not know what I want to "do" with my life, but I certainly know what I want to "be." " and I feel like that too. Although saying "I am this and always will be" is rather stifling in a way. I mean, one day I will (health permitting) be a mother, but in no way is it soon nor what I "am" right now.

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  4. You really think fashion is just superficial? I feel like it's a way of expressing oneself. The problem is (and you are absolutely right) that we live in a society that judges one another based on ones looks, which makes it really hard to truly express oneself with clothes. It is a lot easier to draw, paint or write true emotions at home, alone or even to talk about intimate things with close friends. It is a lot harder to "wear" who you are and present it to the world.
    Very inspiring post! I am trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, too and I think it is great that you know who you want to be or who you are. I find it really difficult to come to terms with myself...

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  5. I agree that fashion is a fairly superficial way of expressing personality, which is one reason I'm always at war with myself for enjoying it so much. That and I'm not sure my particular fashion taste even represents my personality particularly.

    I agree that we're all unique, but sometimes I feel like other people do a really good job at killing off a good deal of their uniqueness! But that must just be me being bitter. I like, as much as thinking on how we're unique, to consider the remarkable degree to which we are similar... but I guess I just find rampant individualism and sense of self to be as potentially damaging as beneficial to society?

    Hehe, lots of opinions tonight! Very good article though. : )

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  6. I love elizabeths post, her posts in general are always well thought out and thought provoking. I enjoy your spin off of it as well! Definitely shall be food for thought in the next few days
    xJennaD

    now on a more "superficial" note, I love your blouse and scarf :)

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  7. I always say: "Everyone has a creative side". Which I think makes us all unique and incredible. :)

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  8. Such a great post. I almost wish I had more opportunities to have deep talks with people and really get to know them. Or even have someone try to do that with me! I know there's a lot of people who wouldn't be compatible with me, but I tend to judge a bit too quickly who I think would be or wouldn't be instead of taking a little more time to talk to the person and actually find out more about them. So your post really got me thinking about that!

    P.S.: I love your outfit with the scarf tied around your neck and that cute little hat. You're awesome!

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  9. Aww you really suit the hat! I love the whole look, it's casual but still girly and cute! :)

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  10. This outfit is adorable. I love all of the little touches that make it really interesting.

    thequeenofwanderlust.blogspot.com

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  11. I'm totally with you on the importance of authenticity. But I really had to de-lurk to ask what on earth is going on in those last 2 pictures? What is that white thing?

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