in which i expound on uniqueness

Elizabeth of Delightfully Tacky posted about uniqueness on her blog today, and it got me thinking. In recent months/years, I have become increasingly aware of the incredible uniqueness of individuals and the amazing potential for personal growth that comes from interacting with and inspiring each other in a meaningful way. I'm not talking about fashion. I'm not talking about following trends. I'm not talking about being inspired to bake macarons becuase that's what people are doing these days. I'm also not discarding any of those things, because I do draw inspiration from trends in the blogosphere and I do believe that my life is enriched by them (if I didn't believe that, I wouldn't be here). That said, fashion is still a superficial manifestation of selfhood--for the most part, it doesn't say much of anything about who we are (except maybe that we care about how we present ourselves to the world, which isn't a bad thing).

(shorts/shirt/hat: thrifted; shoes: kohl's; scarf: forever 21)

I've been lucky, in my life, to have extraordinarily meaningful relationships--with friends, family, and even with strangers. I enjoy conversations that jump right to the marrow of the matter and burrow deeper and deeper until they hit giddy, hysterical laughter, free-flowing tears, or finally level out like a long, satisfying sigh of contentment. A few days ago, Elizabeth also mentioned the "growth zone," where we push ourselves beyond our usual level of comfort, and eventually expand our comfort zone. I'm not a religious person by any means, but I do have a spiritual side (as evidenced here), and I definitely believe that while we're here on earth we should try to see and experience as much as possible, always pushing ourselves to the absolute limit. While traveling to the ends of the earth is a big part of that for me, connecting with interesting people and having enlightening conversations is the other part. When we are true to ourselves and open to each other, we can really expand our experiences. I think our generation has a tendency to judge each other rather harshly (we compare ourselves to others and react offensively to counteract our own creeping self-doubt), but most of those snap judgments are made based on superficial reasons like the way we choose to dress or the music we like to listen to--and we are all so much more than that.

I've come to believe that every single person on this earth has the potential to be endlessly fascinating. Not only are we born completely unique, our experiences in life are so varied and the choices we've made and have yet to make are so infinite, if we commit to knowing ourselves and knowing others truly (madly) and deeply, that is the best way to find happiness and fulfillment in our lifetimes. This does not necessarily mean that I want to be friends with everyone or that everyone will want to be friends with me. We are not all compatible. Some may prefer to float merrily along on the surfaces of things (which I honestly find rather enviable). But if we are open and genuine with each other (and more importantly, with ourselves) we will know a true soul mate when we find one (and I mean that in both the platonic and romantic sense). I may not know what I want to "do" with my life, but I certainly know what I want to "be." And at this point, I think that's far more important.

On a totally unrelated note, last night K and I did this (can you spot the hot air balloon?):

And then this happened:

So we did this:

Went home, had some wine, and watched "Just Go With It," which I actually rather enjoyed. Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston have been impressing me lately (with Grown Ups and The Switch, respectively, and now this). Just because I like to overanalyze everything and swim in the deep sea of humanity doesn't mean that I can't enjoy a nice, light-hearted rom-com once in a while (or... often). I'm not afraid to admit to my guilty pleasures!

If you're feeling forthcoming, I'd love to hear about one of your most formative moments. Let's bust this blogging thing wide open!

in which the sun got the better of me

So, you may notice that I abandoned polka dots. But, in fairness, this is a new week. Maybe I'm sick of themes. I'm fickle like that.

(dress: forever 21; jacket: thrifted; boots: seychelles)

Simplicity is key when you're burnt to a crisp underneath your clothes. Please excuse my reddish hue. I spent most of my weekend like this:

...and I suspect that my 50 SPF sunscreen was not as waterproof as advertised.

Friday night K and I picked up some veggies at the farmer's market (beets, scallions, onions, garlic, cilantro!) and sat on our makeshift "stoop" (aka where the sidewalk ends) and drank some wine while the sun set. Our little "stoop chats" have become a bit of a tradition this past week, since we don't have a porch but we want to take as much advantage of this gorgeous weather as possible. We watched a movie (HappyThankYouMorePlease), which wasn't the best movie I'd ever seen but wasn't terrible, either, and hit the hay at a reasonable hour so we'd be well-rested for our fun-filled Saturday!

We woke up bright and early, had some coffee and eggs, and hit the Waterbury flea market (I bought earrings, a necklace, a clock--with hourglass!, a set of decorative suitcases, and a Moroccan lantern) before heading to K's "secret spot" so that he could fish and I could lounge around in the sun and read. I did end up jumping into the Winooski River (multiple times), which may have been ill-advised but felt incredible. When we'd had enough of the sun, we went home and showered, etc. before driving into town for dinner. After nearly an hour wait, we finally scored a table outside at Three Tomatoes Trattoria on Church Street, ordered some cocktails (hers: blood orange bellini, his: st. germain) and two wood-fired pizzas (Margherita and Primavera). It was an incredible evening, and K and I were in agreement that we must resist the temptation to run away to new places every weekend and spend more time enjoying our own little city.

Sunday was much of the same--we drove to the Reservoir, where K fished (unsuccessfully) and I basked (okay, baked) in the sun and then swam it off (rinse, repeat), also apparently swimming off my sunscreen, because BOY! am I red. I am so glad that I've been swimming regularly so far this summer--I didn't go at all last year, which was a travesty. I used to live in lakes and ponds during the summer months, and definitely lean toward the mer-persuasion. After enjoying creemees for lunch, I whipped up some spicy peanut noodles for a dinner party on Lake Champlain, where we were treated with a beautiful sunset over the water and lots of yummy food.

All-in-all, a wonderfully relaxing summer weekend--the very best that Vermont has to offer!

in which i canoodle with superman

It's Friday and I couldn't be more delighted. The weekend is supposed to be glorious and I can't wait to partake of some seriously summery activities!!

(shorts/shirt: thrifted; socks: uo; shoes: seychelles)

I feel like a ridiculously obnoxious ice cream cone today... one of those weird flavors involving bubblegum (funnily enough, I think I most resemble the 'Superman' flavor, which will become relevant below, I promise. Speaking of ice cream, I've been trying to get back on a healthy-eating kick, and this was my dinner last night:

But then, I also inhaled a "small" creemee (which was actually about six inches tall, not including the cone) and all was lost. Oh well, it's not like it's bathing suit season or anything...

...

Last night K and I watched Waiting for 'Superman', and if I wasn't already in a panic about the educational system in our country, I'm sure this film would have been even more devastating. I think I cried for about five straight minutes at the end of the film. The wild-eyed leader of the Teacher's Union absolutely enraged me, and I was completely baffled that the DC district teachers wouldn't cooperate with the plan for an educational overhaul that would eliminate tenure but make it possible for good teachers to earn twice as much. By refusing to even vote on the issue, they were basically admitting that they valued their own job security (regardless of whether or not they were actually impacting their students in a positive way) over the (incredibly necessary) improvement of our education system. This may be a sensitive subject for some, but as a person who has been tentatively considering entering the teaching profession, the sort of all-for-one-and-one-for-all mentality was, to be frank, frightening. I definitely support labor unions for manufacturing and the like, but teachers are responsible for molding the minds of our future generations! That is no small task, and should absolutely not be left in the hands of lazy or incompetent educators. The importance of public schooling is that the forefront of my mind right now, because my elementary school was almost shut down this year due to low enrollment. I went from a small elementary school in my hometown (12 kids in my class) to a regional high school the next town over that was (at that time) considered one of the worst in the country because of poor test scores. When I was a student there, my class dropped from 85 students to 50 over six years (7-12), but I was "tracked" in the accelerated class and actually got a pretty decent education. Most of the kids did not. By the time my younger brother entered high school, things had changed dramatically. The tracking system had been eliminated, and the school had actually risen in status to become a "Bronze Medal" school. I could go on and on. Basically, I just think that it is so important that we find a way to transform our floundering (or just plain failing) schools and give kids a chance to make something of themselves. It's very much within reach if we just TRY. It's just like the health care system! We are living with a system that worked in the 1950s, but times have changed and our systems need to change as well. American stubbornness is so endlessly frustrating.

Anyway!! I didn't mean to rant at you on a Friday afternoon (I've been doing a lot of ranting since I've been back... sorry about that). To lighten the mood, here are a few things currently making my smile a little brighter:

*pretty bouquet of just-because black-eyed susans from this pretty cool boyfriend I know*

*farmer's market menu planning*

*blue sky and fluffy clouds*

*sunshine nail polish*

*red wine or ice cream on the 'stoop' on a summer evening*

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

in which i get a bit dotty

I've actually worn some version of this outfit several times in the past few weeks--the dress is easy-breezy when I'm in a hurry on a hot day, and I'm completely on board with the head-scarf-as-a-hair-tie trend. It also happens to be insanely cold in my office, so I am basically forced to layer up, even as the temperatures soar.

(dress: f21; jacket: thrifted uo; shoes: seychelles; scarf: vintage)

Last night I went to Burlington to hang out with my friend E and to discuss a potential project over Indian food and vino. Our friend L joined the fun, and we spent several hours perched on her back porch (a lovely little urban oasis hidden behind a popular music venue downtown) lamenting love's labour, reading the tarot, and generally being melodramatic. My kind of night :)

I'm torn between wanting to hole up in my room(/tower!) and pump my creative energy onto paper until it runs dry, and wanting to expend all of that energy on going out into the world and living among the people :p My brother and I got in a bit of an argument over Easter weekend about the value of art and whether anyone should aspire to create art (as opposed to "living" art). He was obstinately against "wasting" time and energy on artistic endeavors, and while I think it is quite clear where I stand on this, I do think there is something to be said for abandoning the desire to channel energies and emotions into art projects and redirecting that attention into daily life. I do get the same satisfaction out of a great conversation (okay, more, actually) as I do out of writing a particularly insightful (in my mind) passage, the only difference is that I don't have something tangible to show for it, and I can't as readily return to it to recreate that illuminating emotion (I have a wretched memory). And then there is the whole "what-if-I-can-make-a-living-doing-what-I-love" thing...

Anyway, I guess the point is I'm working to find a better balance between my interpersonal relationships and my intrapersonal art. I'll let you know how it goes :)

change my spots

O! life... you are too full of possibilites.

(dress: modcloth; hat: uo; shoes: payless; necklace: diy)

I should just do a blog poll to determine what my next step in life should be. How does anyone ever decide what path to take?

Option A: TEFL certification - live&teach abroad - MA in Education - HS English teacher

Option B: MA in Creative Writing (Scotland? England?) - wing it ("it" being life)

Option C: Get a second job - work like a dog and save money - travel around the world

Option D: Start making films - be poor in the pocket but rich in creative fulfillment (hopefully)

Option E: Apply for a Fulbright that somehow combines my love of travel, writing, and cultural anthropology (wheels are turning...)

... or I could just keep on keepin' on, but my Sanity doesn't dig that idea.

In the meantime, I'll be doing polka dots this week. And maybe next week, too, since I got a late start. Hope you're all having fabulous Hump Days out there in the blogosphere!

i'm(/ve been) baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack

I have been a very bad blogger, and I have no real excuse, except that I was here:

And then I was here:

And then I had a really rough time transitioning back into the humdrum doldroms of the work week and these whirlwind weekends I've been having. My head just doesn't feel like it's screwed on quite right.

I had an amazing time out west and never wanted to come home. All that time in the desert really made me reevaluate everything I've been doing with my life, and I'm already dreaming and scheming of my next big adventure. Utah, you were beautiful. Las Vegas, you were fun. Hopefully I'll get some pictures soon from my partner in crime (who is still on the road--lucky!!) and I'll be able to do a more comprehensive post about my travels (wanderlust wednesday can return at last)! In the meantime, I've been playing music, swimming in rivers, driving through the countryside, eating lots and lots, and just generally trying to get back to that place where I was living every day as full to the brim as I possibly could. Because that's the only way.