New outfit location? For some reason I really liked this getup, so I took a picture on the back porch (which is much less stressful than exposing myself to public scrutiny). Maybe the era of outfit photos isn't over after all... Still, there isn't really anything spectacularly thrilling about the clothes. Mostly I just liked that my scarf matched my tights.
There has been a lot going on in my head lately. I've been feeling extraordinarily antisocial--leaving the house for any reason seems like such a chore, even though staying in makes me antsy and irritable. I feel like I'm just in this holding pattern while I'm waiting for the trip to start, because I've planned so much, so many little details, and now I'm just adrift. I feel like I can't talk about anything but the trip, but at the same time I don't really want to talk about it. I am just WAITING. And I hate waiting.
I've also been thinking a lot about what will happen when the trip is over. How will I transition back into "normal" life? K will be starting grad school at UVM (we decided to stay where we are, even though he got into EVERY SINGLE SCHOOL he applied to... what a guy), we'll be looking for a new apartment, and although I'll most likely be returning to my current job, I'm hoping to start up again in a telecommuting capacity... but I want to make sure I really start maximizing every day, making the most of this little life.
Way back in 2010, I wrote a post outlining obstacles for planning a long trip around the world. While many of the points I made in that post are no longer relevant (I don't think that I'm a "dried-up version of my former self" because I don't want to go out dancing every night, I just feel like I'm a grown-up version of my former self), I will admit that the primary difference is that I've paid down a significant portion of my debt and am ready to start racking it up again. So much of my life choices lately have become just that: CHOICES. I have become more and more focused on figuring out what really makes me happy and what I do just because I can or feel like I should.
This post really struck home with me.
The reason I am happier now that I was two years ago: I decided to be. It really is as simple as that. That's how everything fell into place. That's why this trip is happening. I decided to make it happen. So much of how we feel and what we do is dependent on our level of mindfulness and self-awareness, and I'm only starting to commit to the idea that I can make things happen for myself. It's such a small, obvious thing, but I spent so much of my life resisting it, relying on chance or fate to make decisions for me. It seems so silly now, so immature. Once I identified what I really wanted (the trip, above all else), it was easy to cut superfluous spending. I didn't kill time shopping. I cut out cocktails and coffee beverages. And suddenly I was able to put large chunks of money into my savings account, while still keeping up with expenses and paying down debt. It's amazing to me how simple it was.
Despite the fact that we live in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave, it seems to me that most of us are neither. We find jobs that help support our consumer habits, that allow us to pay for the outrageously expensive educations we received, that make possible the purchase of cars and homes and televisions and help support the raising of children who will most likely go on to overpriced universities and spend the rest of their lives repeating the cycle. We lay down roots and are comforted by their strength as they thicken and stretch. We think we're doing what we want because that's what we have been taught or told to want. That, to me, is not freedom. We do what is easy, what pays the bills, what is socially acceptable. That, to me, is not bravery.
Traveling around the country in a car for three months is not everyone's idea of a good time. We have mixed reactions when we tell people our plans--some are envious, some are incredulous. What matters is that is where MY happy is. Or maybe it's not. Maybe I've just idealized and romanticized it my whole life, and in fact I will have a terrible time and be cured of my wanderlust forevermore. The point is, I need to find out. I need to do it. And so I will, because I can.
I've also been thinking a lot about what will happen when the trip is over. How will I transition back into "normal" life? K will be starting grad school at UVM (we decided to stay where we are, even though he got into EVERY SINGLE SCHOOL he applied to... what a guy), we'll be looking for a new apartment, and although I'll most likely be returning to my current job, I'm hoping to start up again in a telecommuting capacity... but I want to make sure I really start maximizing every day, making the most of this little life.
Way back in 2010, I wrote a post outlining obstacles for planning a long trip around the world. While many of the points I made in that post are no longer relevant (I don't think that I'm a "dried-up version of my former self" because I don't want to go out dancing every night, I just feel like I'm a grown-up version of my former self), I will admit that the primary difference is that I've paid down a significant portion of my debt and am ready to start racking it up again. So much of my life choices lately have become just that: CHOICES. I have become more and more focused on figuring out what really makes me happy and what I do just because I can or feel like I should.
This post really struck home with me.
The reason I am happier now that I was two years ago: I decided to be. It really is as simple as that. That's how everything fell into place. That's why this trip is happening. I decided to make it happen. So much of how we feel and what we do is dependent on our level of mindfulness and self-awareness, and I'm only starting to commit to the idea that I can make things happen for myself. It's such a small, obvious thing, but I spent so much of my life resisting it, relying on chance or fate to make decisions for me. It seems so silly now, so immature. Once I identified what I really wanted (the trip, above all else), it was easy to cut superfluous spending. I didn't kill time shopping. I cut out cocktails and coffee beverages. And suddenly I was able to put large chunks of money into my savings account, while still keeping up with expenses and paying down debt. It's amazing to me how simple it was.
Despite the fact that we live in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave, it seems to me that most of us are neither. We find jobs that help support our consumer habits, that allow us to pay for the outrageously expensive educations we received, that make possible the purchase of cars and homes and televisions and help support the raising of children who will most likely go on to overpriced universities and spend the rest of their lives repeating the cycle. We lay down roots and are comforted by their strength as they thicken and stretch. We think we're doing what we want because that's what we have been taught or told to want. That, to me, is not freedom. We do what is easy, what pays the bills, what is socially acceptable. That, to me, is not bravery.
Traveling around the country in a car for three months is not everyone's idea of a good time. We have mixed reactions when we tell people our plans--some are envious, some are incredulous. What matters is that is where MY happy is. Or maybe it's not. Maybe I've just idealized and romanticized it my whole life, and in fact I will have a terrible time and be cured of my wanderlust forevermore. The point is, I need to find out. I need to do it. And so I will, because I can.
What would you do, if you could do anything?
