in which i'm a human and this is my health

This morning I got up early and had time to take a leisurely shower, blow dry my hair, have coffee and oatmeal, and read a few chapters of Anna Karenina, all before work.  And I didn't even get up that much earlier than usual.  It seriously makes SUCH a difference in my overall alertness and interest in, well, life.  When I don't get enough sleep and I roll out of bed all grumpy and rumpled and just kind of throw myself in my car I cannot focus AT ALL and the whole day is essentially a waste of precious hours.  What a way to live!  I really need to make this early-riser thing a habit.

 

(blazer/hat: vintage; dress/scarf/belt: thrifted; tights: tjmaxx; shoes: seychelles)

Speaking of what a way to live... (beware, this is a long one): After watching Pink Ribbons, Inc., I immediately went to the bathroom and started investigating my beauty products.  I discovered that my bubble bath--something I literally soak my entire body in for an hour at a time--has carcinogens in it, and now I'm on this new no-chemical kick.  I want to start making my own products as much as possible (starting with bubble bath, of course). I was with my girlfriends a few months ago and we were talking about those nights when we drink too much wine and then it hurts for days, or when we self-soothe with excessive consumption of cheese and chocolate, and I mentioned that it's so funny how we take such good care of our bodies when we're pregnant (women in general, not me or my friends, yet)--when we are given the responsibility of creating another human we want to them to be as healthy as can be--but we do such a bad job of maintaining the health of our own human. Why don't we take care of our own bodies like that? Why is it okay to drink to excess or soak in carcinogens or eat overly processed foods that our bodies can't digest properly just because we don't have another person growing inside of us? I realized that parents are so careful with their children because they take the time to inform themselves. They research the best diapers, or the best way to balance a child's diet, or the best baby shampoo or sunscreen or the best whatever... but we don't really bother to research the ingredients in our food or beauty products we use ourselves. Personally, I always just trusted that if something was bad, I would know about it. More and more I'm learning that that is just not the case. Just like we shouldn't have blind faith in anything--in religious reasoning that leads to human suffering or oppression, in politicians with shiny smiles backed by influential super-pacs, in the questionable ideals of our friends, family, partners, spouses, employers, in doctors or therapists who dismiss our pains or administer drugs for a quick fix--we certainly shouldn't have blind faith that the products we consume and ingest are safe.

 My goals are simple. I want to make as much from scratch as I can, buy as basic and organic as I can, and take responsibility for the health of my body and mind. Fun fact about me: I have to take a 24-hour allergy pill every day to function, or I become Snuffleupagus. And I don't know why. Well, I kind of know why. My mother has the same "allergies" (it's actually somehow neurological?), and an elimination diet showed that she probably shouldn't eat anything that is good: chocolate, cheese, beer, wine, or nuts. I've basically just decided that I would rather take the allergy pill than give up those things. But there is still something wrong with that. There is something suspicious about this gluten-intolerance epidemic. There is something wrong with the Asperger's/autism epidemic (don't even get me started on that, I think that's more cultural than dietary, although there have been links that suggest that diet is a factor). Research is indicating that Alzheimer's is actually a third type of Diabetes (diet-related). Cancer is way out of control. For a while I thought that maybe these diagnoses were just a result of better detection--maybe people were dying like this of cancer all along but nobody could identify the cause. Now I realize that there is something wrong with the way we are interacting with our environment. The foods we're eating are downright dangerous. The air is probably much more toxic than we even know. We are putting "known" carcinogens on our skin every day (I say "known" because the scientific community knows it but the general public really doesn't). These are all not good things.

I know why we do it.  We do it because it's easy and convenient and cost-effective to be careless.  Carefree.  We should be able to trust that the products we buy won't kill us, right?  So we do.  They don't knock us dead on the spot, so they're probably fine, right?  I know I'm guilty of it--I go to the grocery store and the organic apples look mealy and small and cost more, so I buy the regular apples and tell myself that I'll just "wash them better."  The bottom line is that good food is more expensive.  Good products are more expensive.  And people are poor (myself included).  This is the way the system traps us into submission.  I've always said that good food should be subsidized.  Wellness should be subsidized (gyms, etc.).  The best things in life may be free, but the best things that aren't free are always the most expensive to make up for it.  I promise I'm seriously not on a high horse or anything.  It just makes me mad.  I just want to try to do better.  These things are weighing on me lately.  I just want to live a long, healthy, happy life.  I want to be carefree, but I can't be careless anymore.  Believe me, I am sad about it.  I really did like that bubble bath.

In other news, I'm wearing an outfit.