in which i was never promised a rose garden

I love this dress. It's a little bit retro, a little bit rock-a-billy, a little bit mod. Or something. Anyway, I enjoy it.

(dress: forever 21 via plato's closet; tights: hue; shoes: seychelles)

I'm going through a phase. I go through phases a lot, which is why I haven't quite figured out what to do with my life. I fluctuate between wanting to embrace my country mouse spirit, and then a month goes by and I feel the stirrings of my city mouse self again. I've been feeling very uninspired by office work, very disconnected from myself as I sit on my ass and stare straight into a pixelated world that doesn't much matter to me for eight hours a day. I want to get out in the world and DO something. Maybe it's just cabin fever. If that's so, I'm in trouble, because it's only January and the winter has just begun.

I go through these periods where I want to live on a farm. I want something simple and raw and down to earth (literally). I want to wake up early and feed animals that will then feed me, later on (eggs and milk and cheese). I want to drink hot tea in the afternoon and do crossword puzzles, or read, and then go out and get my hands dirty turning the soil or picking vegetables for dinner. I want my work to be a true reflection of myself. I always fought against that feeling before, telling myself that I could work to live (and telling others, in my preaching way)--that those 40-hour weeks, in their routine no frills/no surprises way, could be freeing. That health insurance and free weekends were worth all the numbness and boredom of the workweek.

I'm not sure I believe it anymore.

This week, I want to milk goats. Even in the cold. I want to invest in things like warm boots and thick, puffy coats instead of pretty dresses and ludicrously high heels. Next week, who knows? There are just so many things I could do, and none of them seem quite perfect. Not perfect enough to drop everything for, anyway.

in which diamonds are a girl's best friend

It is a gross rainy day, so I figured I could use a little color in my life. These jewel-print tights are really fun, but I don't wear a lot of bright colors so I wasn't sure how to incorporate them into my wardrobe--and then it hit me. And this outfit was born:

(dress: h&m; heels: seychelles; tights/hat: gifts)

Speaking of gross rainy days--WTF? Weather like this is why I left the Pacific Northwest, and while I do get rather irritable when I have to clean snow off my car, this is just weird. Also, what is up with all of the people swarming my photo spot? The location I've been using lately has had about eight cars parked in it for the past two days. What gives?

Sometimes I like working in an office. I like my morning ritual--pulling into the parking lot, starting up my computer, going downstairs for my coffee, sipping from my toasty-warm mug while waiting for the day to begin... and then I'm over it. The A/C kicks on, there is a crisis or two, my butt falls asleep from prolonged sitting, my coffee goes down my gullet and is gone, somebody starts eating something that smells delicious, the clock seems to stand still... and then I wonder if mopping the floor of the coffee shop was really that bad. But oh yeah... $$$$.

Whine, whine, whine. Tonight I'll be hitting the gym and doing laundry--but don't worry, no tanning for me.

in which i think positively

Friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiday!

:)

(scarves: various; shirt/necklace: uo; shorts/belt: thrifted; shoes: kohl's)

Positive Thinking: One nice thing about working a 9-5 office job is that I always have the weekends to look forward to. When I was working as a barista there were mornings I would have to get up at 5 am, Friday nights when I'd be cleaning up until 11 PM, holidays when I'd be serving double-time to keep up with all of the shoppers, and my weekends were never really weekends. I usually had Sunday and Monday off, which only corresponded with K's schedule because he also had a weird job (cookie delivery man--haha!). Also, on that note, I miss having loads of "expired" cookie dough always at my disposal. Although that was rather dangerous.

Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is: I know I complain a lot about my desk job, but in reality I do like having a reliable (relatively decent) paycheck, never really having to work overtime or "cover shifts," and not having to rely on tips to bring me to a livable wage (because most people are stingy). I guess what I'm trying to say is that it is easy to lose track of how hard it was to have such a weird work schedule. It didn't really feel like freedom then, it only feels like less of a shackle in retrospect. I guess the major difference is that at the time there was really nowhere to go but up, which felt like a sort of freedom because moving on was always a realistic option--at my current job, almost anything else would be a significant step backwards (at least financially). Just trying to keep everything in perspective.

In other news, I'm actually getting pretty excited for NYFW next month! (I'm not going or anything, but) I'm feeling especially inspired to pay attention to what's going on in the fashion world for some reason. Maybe it was the In Fashion exhibit at Shelburne Museum? Je ne sais quoi. Last year I was kind of "eh whatever" about the whole thing, but I think that may have been because I was trying to deny my true love for pretty clothes :)

Happy weekend, everyone! (Tip your Waiters! ;p)

in which i love my new dress

I think this dress is my new favorite thing! I found it at Goodwill on Friday afternoon and knew that it would be a perfect transitional piece from summer to fall--the brown chiffon and fun polka dot print are perfect for lounging in on a hot summer day, but will be brilliant when paired with denim and wool in the coming seasons :) Last summer I wouldn't have dreamed of wearing a dress that hit at the ankle, but I actually really like the length! (Does this mean I'm finally a grown-up?)

(dress: goodwill; hat: uo; shoes: kohl's)

This hat has been through the ringer over the years. I bought it back when I was living in Portland and didn't really wear it because it doesn't quite fit my enormous head. Still, I packed it up and brought it home, and it has been folded and fitted into small suitcases quite often. I remember being a bit ticked off when I found out the hat was actually made of paper, not straw, which seemed pretty silly for the price, but it has held up surprisingly well (though it is rather deformed).

Yesterday I got some lame news (namely, my recent raise at work was eliminated--by double--with a company-wide paycut), so I went home and ate lots of pasta and watched Sex and the City and even dipped into a pint of B&J FroYo (Cherry Garcia!). I'm becoming increasingly disillusioned by my job. But that's all I will say about that. I also watched The Ramen Girl on Netflix last night, and was really charmed by it! It's basically Brittany Murphy's Lost in Translation: a girl follows her boyfriend to Tokyo, he promptly dumps her, and she spends the rest of the movie coming to terms with herself (and training to become a ramen chef). It wasn't too cheesy or too annoying or too anything, really--just charming. So... a very indulgent night :) I've been needing those a lot lately...

cirque du printemps

It would appear that I am premiering one Modcloth dress each week (week one and two). I'm not sure exactly what drew me to this particular dress, since it's not my usual style (I usually can't pull off the shifty style, and this struck me as a mix between eighties--which I still generally steer clear of, for the most part--and flapper, which I love). In the end, the fun polka dot print and the deep chevron-reminiscent neckline won me over, and I was delighted to discover that the extra weight of the ruffles on the bottom help shape the dress so it doesn't fall flat and unflatteringly. It feels very circus-mod, perfect for a matinee of Water for Elephants, or a trip to Cirque de Soleil (both activities are currently in my hope chest for the coming months).

(soft spot for style dress: modcloth; tights: hue; shoes: seychelles; barrette: venice; necklace: jewelmint)

I resisted the urge to wear my faux pearls, which would have tumbled me over the fine line between contemporary interpretation and costumery. I knew immediately that I wanted to wear my yellow tights (sometimes you just know), and the barrette was almost an immediate afterthought. I picked up a pair of these pretty glass bead barrettes when I was in Venice (the only two types of shops I saw in Venice revolved around glass art or Carnivale masks), and I absoutely love them. Unfortunately, while this one is still entirely intact, its mate is looking a little worse for wear (a bead is missing). Perhaps two would have been overkill anyway.

On another note, I wish there were more hours in the day. Don't get me wrong, I'm quite pleased that we are experiencing more hours of daylight, but I still feel like I don't have enough time to do what I want in any given evening! Last night I went for my first run en plein air since last summer, and it was a wakeup call! Running outside is official far more difficult than running on the treadmill, especially around my apartment, which is evidently in the middle of a mountain range. It didn't help that despite the sunshine the air was still chilly (and my lungs paid the price), but it was wonderful to be outside again, breathing the fresh (cold) air and communing with Mother Nature--I even spotted a robin! Of course, when I got home I was faced with a sink overflowing with dishes (which I washed), the prospect of a shower (which I begrudgingly took) and the preparation of dinner (which I made, and ate) and before I knew it the night was nearly over! This is one of many reasons why I wish I could work from home--I could do dishes or go for a run on my lunch break or at slow times, maybe even chop vegetables in between checking article corrections... and have the rest of the night to spend however I pleased! As a wise sage named Calvin once said, "the days are just packed..."