road trip outfit #1

Whoa, watch out for wrinkles!  Now I'm just getting sloppy.  Anyway, this is the first (and hopefully not last) in a series of "road trip outfits" that I've put together in preparation for the trip.  Since it's unlikely I'll be snapping outfit shots across America, I figured I'd take a little of this limbo time to show you what I will probably be wearing.  I guess the wrinkles are pretty realistic.  I will be living out of a suitcase, after all...

A few things about this getup... this dress was not originally intended to be altered with a hi-low hem.  I just went a little scissor-wild and cut the front way too short for the mini I had planned.  Whoops.  I was pretty upset with myself at the time, but this works. Sort of. Besides the wrinkle thing.  And the shoes.  I bought these wedges specifically for the trip, after AGONIZING over what to get--Wedges? Flats? I did purchase a pair of really nice flat sandals but they just made my feet look manly, so I sent them back.  In the end I decided to just get a nice, comfortable pair of wedges that I would actually want to wear (these are Kork-Ease--so comfy!) and then throw down a few dollars for a cheap pair of flat sandals to mess up at the beach and whatnot.  All in all I purchased seven pairs of shoes specifically for the trip: these wedges, flat sandals, red keds, white keds, hiking shoes, fun heels, and flip flops (which don't really count).

We've got less than two weeks to go!  It's getting crazy around here :)

in which i introduce blueberry sal (and wear clothes)

(dress: tjmaxx; trench: h&m; heels: charlotte russe; purse: urban outfitters; scarf: vintage)

Here's another outfit for another week!  This is what "my style" is slowly morphing into.  Classic colors, prints, and silhouettes... simplicity at its best. The big news for me is that I bought a car last weekend... say hello to Blueberry Sal! (I tried to take a picture of her sitting in the driveway without the messed up cars from the garage next door fouling up the shot... didn't really work out, but you get the idea :)

...and then K and I celebrated with champagne (and the big delicious salads that we have literally been eating every single night for the past three weeks--lettuce, mozzarella balls, cherry tomatoes, red onion, and balsamic vinaigrette = perfection). On this date next month we will be watching my youngest brother graduate from my Alma mater (Boston University), and then we're off!  Excitement mounts!

in which i've got polka dots a-plenty

I wore this outfit a few days ago but didn't post it because I didn't have anything to say.  Truth be told, I still don't, but there is no use in letting it languish in my drafts.  I've secretly sort of been wanting to chop off my hair, but I can't commit to the idea.  It makes sense in my mind to do it before the road trip, but I'm worried that I will hate it and then I'll never want to look at my trip photos.  Which is ridiculous, but that's the way my mind works right now.

I'm kind of on auto-pilot at this point.  K and I are slowing chipping away at our pre-trip to-do list (there is so much to do!) and the fact that it is so difficult to extricate ourselves from the tidy little life we've been living is part of the reason for my last post.  I'm thinking I will probably have to buy a car before we leave, and we're looking around to see if we can maybe secure an apartment in advance of our departure as well (because as much as I love traveling, I also love to have a nice home base to return to when I'm done).  There will be a lot going on when we come back, and it would just be nice to have all of that sorted out to make the transition as seamless as possible.

I'm such a planner.  I've spent months and months planning this trip and now that I can't plan any more (everything that can be booked is booked, everything that can be mapped is mapped) I'm starting to plan for life post-trip.  Where I want to live, what I want to do, who I want to be.  It will be nice to hit the road and start living in the moment again... right now my every focus is on the future.

make it happen

New outfit location?  For some reason I really liked this getup, so I took a picture on the back porch (which is much less stressful than exposing myself to public scrutiny).  Maybe the era of outfit photos isn't over after all... Still, there isn't really anything spectacularly thrilling about the clothes.  Mostly I just liked that my scarf matched my tights.  

There has been a lot going on in my head lately.  I've been feeling extraordinarily antisocial--leaving the house for any reason seems like such a chore, even though staying in makes me antsy and irritable.  I feel like I'm just in this holding pattern while I'm waiting for the trip to start, because I've planned so much, so many little details, and now I'm just adrift.  I feel like I can't talk about anything but the trip, but at the same time I don't really want to talk about it.  I am just WAITING.  And I hate waiting.

I've also been thinking a lot about what will happen when the trip is over.  How will I transition back into "normal" life?  K will be starting grad school at UVM (we decided to stay where we are, even though he got into EVERY SINGLE SCHOOL he applied to... what a guy), we'll be looking for a new apartment, and although I'll most likely be returning to my current job, I'm hoping to start up again in a telecommuting capacity... but I want to make sure I really start maximizing every day, making the most of this little life.

Way back in 2010, I wrote a post outlining obstacles for planning a long trip around the world.  While many of the points I made in that post are no longer relevant (I don't think that I'm a "dried-up version of my former self" because I don't want to go out dancing every night, I just feel like I'm a grown-up version of my former self), I will admit that the primary difference is that I've paid down a significant portion of my debt and am ready to start racking it up again.  So much of my life choices lately have become just that: CHOICES.  I have become more and more focused on figuring out what really makes me happy and what I do just because I can or feel like I should.

This post really struck home with me.

The reason I am happier now that I was two years ago: I decided to be.  It really is as simple as that.  That's how everything fell into place.  That's why this trip is happening.  I decided to make it happen.  So much of how we feel and what we do is dependent on our level of mindfulness and self-awareness, and I'm only starting to commit to the idea that I can make things happen for myself.  It's such a small, obvious thing, but I spent so much of my life resisting it, relying on chance or fate to make decisions for me.  It seems so silly now, so immature.  Once I identified what I really wanted (the trip, above all else), it was easy to cut superfluous spending.  I didn't kill time shopping.  I cut out cocktails and coffee beverages.  And suddenly I was able to put large chunks of money into my savings account, while still keeping up with expenses and paying down debt.  It's amazing to me how simple it was.

Despite the fact that we live in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave, it seems to me that most of us are neither.  We find jobs that help support our consumer habits, that allow us to pay for the outrageously expensive educations we received, that make possible the purchase of cars and homes and televisions and help support the raising of children who will most likely go on to overpriced universities and spend the rest of their lives repeating the cycle.  We lay down roots and are comforted by their strength as they thicken and stretch.  We think we're doing what we want because that's what we have been taught or told to want. That, to me, is not freedom.  We do what is easy, what pays the bills, what is socially acceptable.   That, to me, is not bravery.

Traveling around the country in a car for three months is not everyone's idea of a good time.  We have mixed reactions when we tell people our plans--some are envious, some are incredulous.  What matters is that is where MY happy is.  Or maybe it's not.  Maybe I've just idealized and romanticized it my whole life, and in fact I will have a terrible time and be cured of my wanderlust forevermore.  The point is, I need to find out.  I need to do it.  And so I will, because I can.  

What would you do, if you could do anything?

in which there is bread in my belly

I love this sweater.  I can't believe my friend Elizabeth gave it away, but I'm glad she gave it to me! :)  I also can't believe I wanted to cut it up and turn it into a vest at one point.  That would have been a travesty!

(sweater: llbean; scarf/shirt: thrifted; jeans: pacsun; boots: tjmaxx; earmuffs: urban outfitters)

I'm having sort of a mind-body WTF situation going on right now.  On one hand, I feel good.  I've been getting up at 7 AM this week, which is EARLY for me.  This gives me just enough time to have a cup of coffee, eat breakfast, write my morning pages, and read a few chapters of a book.  I've also been exercising.  I went to the gym on Monday night, I did my workout video last night, and I'll be going to the gym again tonight.  On the other hand, I've been eating a lot of bread.  Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE BREAD.  As a relatively lazy, carb-craving vegetarian, I eat a lot of it--pasta, hunks of sourdough, bagels, sandwiches--but lately whenever I eat bread I feel kind of uggggghhhh.  It's almost like all of the good things I'm doing lately (working out, avoiding alcohol) are just making the knot of bread in my stomach that much more unpleasant.

The thing is, I've been thinking a lot about what I eat lately, and it's not just because I watched that documentary or because I can't just slip into my skinny jeans like I used to or because I want to appear virtuous or anything like that.  It's because a lot of the "comfort" foods that have always been staples of my diet now make me feel ugggggghhh.  And I don't like that feeling.  I don't know if it's just because I'm getting older and my metabolism is dragging, or just because it's winter and I don't get enough fresh air and everything feels like uggggghhh (a distinct possibility), or because I really should just embrace being healthy,  once and for all.  I've always loved my bread and wine and cheese, and I have never wanted to deny myself the pleasure of those things for this or that reason.  I've always clung to them with a sort of "I will indulge!  It is my right! You can't take that away!" mentality, but what if avoiding those things could make my life more pleasant?  I dunno, it's on my mind.

in which this is my mortal coil

I am so TIRED, and blogging has been rather sporadic lately, I know.  I'm always running late these days.  But I also feel like I have been pretty productive lately... maybe only by my own standards.  

(coat: sears; jeans: pacsun; scarf: tjmaxx; tunic: zara; boots: seychelles; sunglasses: urban outfitters)

I had a surprise day off from work last week because I needed to get my car fixed, and I ended up really using my time wisely.  I drafted a query letter so that I could start sending the novel out to agents (although in the process I basically decided that it's not ready/isn't good enough, and I'm kind of okay with that... it's only the first pancake), and then I started the second novel that has been brewing in my mind for a while now.  This one has a much more concentrated focus and, well, plot, so I'm pretty excited about it.  

I'm toying with the idea of using my blog as a way to "write" certain sections of the book that I think could really benefit from outsider input.  I think it could be really fun!  So I'll get back to you on that.  I've been kind of struggling with where I want this blog to go, mostly because my life is about to change dramatically in a few months (if all goes as planned) and I want to find a way to transition into a blog that encompasses more than just what I am wearing.  After all, "clothes are but our outmost cuticle and mortal coil."

Yesterday I went snowboarding with my mom and brother and it was a beautiful, perfect day, and so much fun.  I really love spending a day on the mountain, and am so grateful to my mom for taking me along!  There is something so refreshing about winter sports, that I always forget until I am doing them.  I look forward to the day when I have land and can casually go outside and move around.  Snowshoeing, cross-country skiing, snowboarding... all so much fun!  And Vermont is just so beautiful.  I have such pride in my little home state, for so many reasons, but its beauty is certainly one of them.

Oh, and K got in to the first two graduate programs he applied to!  Two for two :)  We're just waiting to hear on six more.  So proud of that guy!

happy hot air balloons

Oh, weekend.  I miss you already.  I do feel like my weekend was satisfying/productive, though, which is saying something.  I zipped through The Autograph Man by Zadie Smith (loved), watched some great movies (The Giant Mechanical Man, Your Sister's Sister, and Vegucated, which seriously made me consider veganism until I realized I can't live without cheese... but I'm going to cut back on dairy products as much as possible [not loving the almond milk in my coffee and soy isn't a great substitute, either, healthwise--any suggestions]?  Also it made me feel good that I've at least been a vegetarian all my life.), went to the gym and did my workout video... all good things.

(dress: h&m; shoes: seychelles; belt: urban outfitters; hot air balloon earrings!)

On Sunday night, K and I watched the Superbowl and drank beer and ate nachos.  I must admit, I'm a bit of a closet football fan.  I used to love playing it (my family is very competitive, and sports were never an exception), and I do enjoy watching it once a year (even if the 49ers did lose...).  And Beyonce was awesome.  Now it's back down to business--getting my car fixed (hopefully?), working working working, finishing my tax returns, all that boring grown-up blahblahblah.

in which i am (officially?) a wild woman

Hello there!  The dead weight of this cold weather finally lifted a bit, so I was able to brave the great outdoors once again and I decided to brighten things up a bit!  I originally bought and altered this dress for Christmas a couple of years ago so it always feels a little bit "holiday" when I wear it.  The gold tights probably don't help, but oh well :)

(dress: thrifted; belt: urban outfitters; tights: hue; shoes: seychelles; earrings: bought in austin, tx)

This past weekend was pretty wild!  I've sure been getting my girl time in lately.  On Thursday night my lady friends and I had Art Club at my apartment, drank Heady Topper and ate snacks and had another one of our epic conversations about femininity and day moons and the power dynamics between men and women and taking control of to-be-looked-at-ness and women in combat and combat in general and the unfortunate  way in which our society encourages the expression of masculinity through violence... and then they went home, and on Friday I headed to a house in the woods for my semi-official initiation into the tribe of WWW (wild women of Woodbury), and I didn't emerge from those woods until Sunday afternoon.

I have always been awed and inspired by the WWW.  They're all such passionate, intelligent, wonderful (wild) women, and I feel so lucky to have been raised under the umbrella of their influence.  I also know I am fortunate to have some of their daughters as my very best friends/soul sisters/future WWW (and hopefully we will manage to carry on the tradition of this epic weekend for decades to come).  There was a lot of cosmo-drinking, southern-style food-eating, puppet-making (and a somewhat scandalous puppet show on Saturday night), ping-pong playing, hula-hooping (I will figure out how to be awesome at this... mark my words), and an incredibly epic snowshoe over fields and through forests and over the top of a hill that looked out around all of the Green and White mountains (the weekend was hosted at Switchell extraordinaire Susan's house in Cabot and the surrounding land is amazing) and culminated in a campfire powwow with soups and spicy sausage.  I was so exhausted on Sunday that I when I got home all I the energy I could manage to muster went into watching Downton Abbey (and I still fell asleep on the couch).

Anyway, THANK YOU to the WWW for allowing me to attend!  It was really nice to get to know everyone a little bit better after all of these years :)

in which i could go for some sugar on snow

After a week of spring weather, we're back to January.  If the thaw is over, this can only mean one thing: the freeze is on its way.  Oh, Vermont winters, you're so predictable.  Anyway, it was crazy snowy and blustery today and I braved it anyway because I liked my outfit. 

(blazer: vintage; scarf/lace top: thrifted; sweater: target; jeans: pacsun; shoes: lulu*s)

Because this outfit is all cream and taupe and tan and whatnot, it reminds me of sugar on snow.  It's been YEARS since I have partook of that tasty treat--like, over a decade.  I do put maple syrup in my coffee though, so maybe that's like, the grown-up version?  I've been wearing the crap out of these jeans lately.  Maybe it's finally time to invest in more than one pair?